Handling Sexual Issues in the Family

“Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might and the beginning of my strength,

The excellency of dignity and the excellency of power. Unstable as water, you shall not excel,

Because you went up to your father’s bed; then you defiled it; He went up to my couch”.

                                                                                                                --Genesis 49:3-4

The Power of the Family

The family is the oldest and most powerful institute in the world.

The state of the family determines the outcome of every society, nation and church.

The devil knows the power of the family in world transformation and destruction that was why His first attack on mankind was channeled towards the first family on this earth (Adam and Eve).

The fall of the first family…lead to a fallen world we live in today.

Sexuality in the Family

Sex is a gift from God to the union of man and wife (marriage).

The Devil biggest weapon of mass destruction in these last days is SEX.

Sexual immorality is one of the biggest issues challenging a lot of families in our world today.

*** 90 % OF EVERY SEXUAL PROBLEM WE DEAL WITH ALL STARTED FROM THE HOME…***

Many families are struggling to handle sexual promiscuity in the home because of lack of knowledge.

Of a truth, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge”.(Hosea 4:6)

It is painful to note that there are many Family Life Seminars, courses, training and education going on in the world, yet many families are still living in defeat, shame and disgrace because of failure to handle this monster called ‘sexual immorality’.

I want to address three major sexual issues that has lead to sexual struggle in the family

1.                   Lack of sexual morality education.

Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it”.

A lot parents still do not understand the role they hold in the sexual life of their children.

I tell you the truth: Parents holds up to 80% in the outcome of the sexual health/life of their children.

Parents played an integral part in the sexual make up, response and health of their children.

Parents have failed in teaching their kids sexuality education. Our children today now rely on social media (e.g. facebook), television and peers for solution.

Listen parents: Do not depend entirely on the church, the government or the counselors to train your kids for you. God has given you greater responsibility and you are the most important person in the outcome of their sexual life of your Children.

Parents need to seek sexual morality education and then become the best counselor and trainer to their children. This is the best strategy to achieve a sexually moral society and church.

2.            Lack of understanding of sexual doorways.

This has really caused serious problem in the homes. We are now having many sexual casualties in the home.

Here are some Common Sexual Doorways that has led to sexual immorality in the Home

1.            Watching of pornographic with siblings

2.            Having pornographic book/magazine in the home

3.            Dressing or undressing in front of your sibling (the opposite sex)

4.            Lying/sleeping on the same bed for brothers and sister

5.            Siblings kissing each other

6.            Parents bathing with grown up Children (the opposite sex)

7.            Parent sleeping on the same bed with grown up children (the opposite sex)

8.            Parents having sex in the midst their kids

9.            Bathing together of siblings (two opposite sex)

10.          Indecent dressing of siblings in the home (nudity/or careless exposing of sexual genitals)

11.          Playing too much together of siblings (two opposite sex)

12.          Spying your sibling when taking his/her bath

(Note: For More on Sexual Doorways, you can get and read my Book ‘Understanding Sexual Doorways’

3.           Facing Sexual Generational Course

A generational curse is a bondage or yoke transferred by the parents to the children by birth.

This can lead to the children living a life of failure, defeat, hardship, poverty, sickness, demonic oppression and habitual sin.

A lot of families are operating under a family/generational curse as a result of sexual immoral practices engaged by the Parents.

Here are some Sexual issues that bring curse to the family:

1.            Babies out of wedlock

2.            Prostitution by parents

3.            Adultery

4.            Abortion by parents

5.            Marine spirit transfer

6.            Rape/Child abuse

7.            Having Sex with mad person/witch doctor

8.            Incest

9.            Homosexuality

10.          Bestiality

11.          Polygamous background (man marrying and having children from different women)

Some of the Effects of Sexual Curse in the Family

•             Unwanted pregnancy

•             Sexually transmitted diseases (i.e. HIV)

•             Separation from God

•             Failure, defeat and Disgrace

•             Poverty and Hardship

•             Divorce by parents

•             Brother and Sister having sex secretly in the home.

•             Children prostituting

•             Children raped/molested

•             Children giving birth to babies in the homes of their parents.

•             Aborted destinies

•             Mental problem/drug abuse.

•             Crisis and Disunity.

If you are a child and your parents have engaged in such lifestyles before you were born, you need to break that curse from having effect in your life.

If you are a parent, you need to pray for yourself and then break the curse from having effect in your children.

How to break the curse

“Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.” He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit”. (Galatians 3:13-14)

1.            Repent (ask for forgiveness) and receive Jesus Christ into your life and your Lord and Savior. (Being born again brings you to a new family and generation.

2.            Use the blood of Jesus to break every curse and covenant that has taken place as a result.

3.            Use the blood of Jesus to clean every deposit that has been transferred to you.

4.            Command every spirit operating in your life to come out.

5.            Develop a strong relationship with God

6.            Be prayerful.

Some Recommendation for sexual transformation in the Family

1.                   Start your own family Sexual purity devotional

      2.            Get a copy of the Book ‘Understanding Sexual Doorways’ for every member of the family and other purify resources.

      3.            Hold Family Day of Purification prayers every week.

      4.            Clean off the house monthly from pollution and sexual immoral materials. (This is what I called Home Sanctification)

      5.            Train your kids on Sexual morality.

Let us play our role in bringing sexual purity into our families…then we can make our society a sexually moral world.

Rufus Yamoah

Sexual Morality Counselor

The Truth About Condom and Safe Sex

“Thus Saith the Lord: Cursed be the man that trusted in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and WHOSE HEART DEPARTETH FROM THE LORD”.-- (Jeremiah 17:5)

What is condom? 

It is a barrier device mostly used during sexual intercourse to reduced the probability of pregnancy and spreading of sexual transmitted diseases. It is put in a man’s penis and it physically blocks ejaculated semen from entering the body of a sexual partner.

What then is Safe Sex? 

It is a kind of sex where people protect themselves with contraceptive (e.g condom) when having sexual intercourse with a sexual partner.

This is the question I keep asking?

What good has condom done to our young people?

How safe is safe sex?

It is a great puzzle to me to hear of Government going to schools to give young students condoms and teaching them to protect themselves when having sex.

Is Safe Sex the right sexual education to teach our kids?

Let’s go back to the beginning.

Condoms have been in existence for more than 400 years according to researchers.

The original purpose was for birth control by married couples. Today…condom has become a ‘sex god’ in our society.

The concept of sex safe is a deception from the pit of hell. Condom has done more harm than good to our young people.

It is claimed that condoms helps to avoid pregnancy and prevent sexually transmitted disease.

If this is true, then condom cannot be reliable!

Some facts to consider according to researchers:

The United State Centers for Diseases Control (CDC) reported that 56 million have STD

12 million people get a new STD each year

33,000 people get a new STD every day, and

22, 000 of them are 15 to 24 years old.

25 % of High School students will be infected with STD before graduation.

“Condom is unreliable”

About one of every five teens using condoms becomes pregnant within one year, according to the National Survey of Family Growth.

Many leading experts have warned against depending condoms for protection against HIV and other STDs.

“You just can’t tell people it is right to do whatever they like as long as they wear condom”, (Dr. Harold Jaffee, Chief of Epid emiology, National Centers for Disease Control.

“Simply put, condom fails. And condom fails at a rate that is unacceptable to me as a physician to endorse them as strategy to be promoted as meaningful AIDS protection”. (Dr. Robert Renfeild, Walter Reed Army Institute

Condoms Manufacturers knows very well that their product is not 100 % method for protection.

Why should we endorse that which not reliable?

Why do we still go with the concept of ‘safe sex’ when we have not seen any safety in these contraceptives.

I want you to know that Safe Sex is never God’s idea when he created sex for man. Safe Sex is an invention of Satan who played on man’s desire to always satisfy their flesh and selfish interest.

***God’s idea for young people when it comes to sexuality is not the practice of safe sex as the society has taught, but it is Abstinence and sexual purity***

They society has train the mind of youth to become so weak when it comes to their sexual feelings. They make us to believe that it is impossible for someone to control his/her sexual drive. So everybody can just go with a condom.

Safe Sex vs. Sexual Purity

You need to think about these things…

1.       Condom can prevent a disease but cannot preserve your virginity; Sexual purity will do both.

2.       Condom does not protect you from falling into sin and separation from God; Sexual purity will.

3.       Buying condom will make the Manufacturer richer and take away your money; Sexual purity will preserve your money.

4.       God hates wastage. You waste your sperm when you ejaculate in the condom. Your body is the temple of God.

5.       Condom does not keep your marriage bed to be undefiled; Sexual purity will.

6.       Condom does not prevent emotional trauma, heart breaks, guilt, regrets and hate; sexual purity will save your life.

7.       Condom can fail at any time. This means it is unreliable; sexual purity is reliable.

8.       Using condom as a youth shows that you cannot rely of God for grace to help us overcome sexual temptation.

It is time for our society to make a shift…

It is time to depart from this evil we have gotten ourselves into.

We cannot help ourselves except we seek God for help.

He is the originator of Sex…let us run to Him for help and guidance so that we can be safe in this sexual infested society we live in.

Joseph made it. He did not use condom. He followed after sexual purity. He trusted God and reply on Him.

Condom is not the solution.

Let us run away from this idol worship.

God is the solution to every sexual struggle…

Rufus E. Yamoah

Sexual Morality Counselor

How to Make the Right Decision on Sexual Relationship

Your decision today is the seed that will speak for your tomorrow.

Decision Making skill is one of the best skills a person can develop in order to attain personal success in life.

Your decision will determine your destination.

Decision making skill is the ability to make the right choices that will bring you blessings in life and not destruction.

Sexual relationship is a kind of relationship where a person is sexually active (I mean engage in sexual activity) with his/her partner.

A lot of people today and living a life of regret and pain because of poor decisions they made.

As a youth or single, for you to achieve a healthy sexual relationship in the future, you must make the right decisions today.

A lot of young people are in the dilemma of whether to become sexually active or not, whether to stop or start a relationship, whether to have a kid now or focus on their school or even whether to get married or remain single. These are some of the issues that run through the heart of many.

Sexual issues are no casual issues.

You must not be too quick to make sexual decisions because whatever you do will have a profound effect on your destiny and success in life.

Your decisions about sexual relationship will affect your life plans, health, finance, family, career and relationship with God—I mean everything about YOU.

Why People Make Wrong Decisions on Sexual Relationship

1.       Sexual feelings: A lot of people enter into a sexual relationship because of their sexual drive not because of love. When a person cannot lead his/her sexual feelings, then will be influence negatively by those feelings and will try to seek satisfaction for their sexual need.

2.       Peer pressure and associations: It is true that iron sharpens iron and like begat like. This is law of association. We become like the people will align ourselves with. Many people enter into sexual relationship because their friends are all sexually active and they want to have sense of belonging.

3.       The mass media deception: The media (most especially internet, television and music) has done a lot of harm to our youth in the society. The media have presented a society that sees nothing wrong with people entering sexual relationship before getting married. The media has taken hold of the mind of young people and this has influenced people negatively into entering into sexual relationship.

4.       Ignorance: This is really a big virus affecting so many young people. So many entering into sexual relationship without knowing the impact of sexual involvement on one’s life. Of a truth, people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.  Lack of proper sex education is really affecting our churches, families, schools and society at large.

5.       Taking of harmful drugs and alcohol: Drugs and alcohol has a strong power to affect our emotions negatively. This can lead us into making wrong decision on sexual relationship. Most young people who began drinking and smoking will always crown it with sexual activity.

6.       The god of Condom: A lot of young people are influence into sexual relationship because of the myth of safe sex…the use of condoms and contraceptives. They belief that has long as they can purchase a condom they are ready for sexual involvement.

7.       Family background and environment place a large role in forming our sexual identity. Parents who have a poor sexual lifestyle will end up breeding kids who will grow up into making wrong decisions on sexual relationship. Our environment reveals the people’s culture and belief system. For example, an environment that sees nothing wrong with homosexuality and prostitution tend to raise up people with such a sexual lifestyle.

The impact of Wrong Decision on Sexual Relationship

1.       It can lead to sexual abuse and molestation.

2.       It can lead to abortion and its complications.

3.       It can lead to unwanted pregnancy.

4.       It can lead to heart break, emotional trauma/psychological stress.

5.       It can lead to contracting STIs and HIV/AIDS.

6.       It destroys destiny and careers.

7.       It brings separation between you and God.

8.       It brings loss of virginity.

9.       It brings loss of self respect and self esteem.

10.   It can cause financial setback and struggle.

Here are some factors that will influence you towards making the right decision concerning sexual relationship.

1.       Seek the truth about sex and its purpose from the Word of God and not from friends or the mass media.

2.       Ask the Holy Spirit, who is called the Spirit of Truth, to guide you into making the right decision towards any sexual issue. The Holy Spirit also gives power to resist temptation and also ability to control our sexual feelings.

3.       Associate with Wise Counselors and people who believe in sexual purity. This will affect your decision on whether it is necessary to involve in sexual relationship or not. Remember Iron sharpens iron.

4.       Patience is a virtue. I have learned this lesson the hard way. A lot of young people are in a hurry to satisfy their sexual urge and are not willing to wait for their time. When you have this virtue of patience, it will influence your decision not to rush into sexual relationship because you see others in it.

5.       Your relationship with God matters when making sexual decisions. You must ask yourself that, “Should I seek to satisfy and please my flesh or to make my Heavenly Father Happy?” which is more important.

Some benefits of making the Right Decisions on Sexual Relationship

1.       It will protect your destiny and purpose.

2.       It bring protect your honor, glory, dignity and respect.

3.       It will preserve you from STIs and HIV/AIDs.

4.       It will help you to become responsible and focus.

5.       Sexual purity clarifies your vision and direction to your destination.

6.       It will help you to avoid regret, set back, heart break and unnecessary emotional/mentral drainage.

7.       It will help you to achieve your goal.

8.       It builds your self esteem and confidence.

9.       It helps you to build a strong relationship with God and people.

Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend that gives you sexual satisfaction?

Are you thinking of entering a new sexual relationship?

Let this article lead you into making the right decision that will build your life and help you to reach the height you desire in life.

Rufus E. Yamoah

Sexual Morality Counselor

Bible Answers to Lies About Sex

1.       LIE: Homosexuality is acceptable.

•God created Adam for Eve. (“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the LORD God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” Genesis 2:18-24 NLT) •It is clearly stated as detestable. (“Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 NLT)

2. LIE: A person can be born gay.

•We were created in God's image to be holy as he is holy, so it is impossible to be born gay if God said it's a sin. Also he commanded us to be fruitful and multiply, which gay people cannot naturally do. Therefore, if a person could be born gay, they would naturally be able to join together for procreation. (“Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”” Genesis 1:26-28 NLT)

2.       LIE: A person can be born the wrong sex. (Transgender)

•When God created us, he created us with a specific purpose; hence, it doesn't mean that he made a mistake just because we don't align with his purpose for us. (““I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”” Jeremiah 1:5 NLT) (“God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?” Numbers 23:19) (“The LORD is righteous in everything he does; he is filled with kindness.” Psalms 145:17 NLT)

 4. LIE: Sex before marriage is socially acceptable and is now a norm, so it should be acceptable and expected to happen.

•We should govern ourselves according to God's word and not worldly standards because they're ever changing, but the word remains the same. (“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” Hebrews 13:4 NLT) (“But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.” 1 Corinthians 7:2, 8-9 NLT)

 5. LIE: Having a mistress/side chick/cheating is acceptable, especially if you're not satisfied in your relationship.

(““Therefore, I will throw her on a bed of suffering, and those who commit adultery with her will suffer greatly unless they repent and turn away from her evil deeds.” Revelation 2:22) (““At that time I will put you on trial. I am eager to witness against all sorcerers and adulterers and liars. I will speak against those who cheat employees of their wages, who oppress widows and orphans, or who deprive the foreigners living among you of justice, for these people do not fear me,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies.” Malachi 3:5) (“I have seen your adultery and lust, and your disgusting idol worship out in the fields and on the hills. What sorrow awaits you, Jerusalem! How long before you are pure?”” Jeremiah 13:27 NLT) (“But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself.” Proverbs 6:32 NLT) (““Do not defile yourself by having sexual intercourse with your neighbor’s wife.” Leviticus 18:20 NLT)

6. LIE: Having a sexual relationship in exchange for gifts, money, status, an opportunity etc. is acceptable.

(“A prostitute is a dangerous trap; a promiscuous woman is as dangerous as falling into a narrow well.” Proverbs 23:27) (“For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But in the end she is as bitter as poison, as dangerous as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.” Proverbs 5:3-5) (“Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never!” 1 Corinthians 6:15 NLT)

 7. LIE: Sex can be done leisurely with no feelings or strings attached.

 (“And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”” 1 Corinthians 6:16)

 8. LIE: Because sexual urges are natural, it's impossible to abstain.

(“You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything. You say, “Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.” (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) But you can’t say that our bodies were made for sexual immorality. They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead. Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him. Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 NLT)

 9. LIE: We can live under grace when it comes to sexual immorality.

 (““At that time I will put you on trial. I am eager to witness against all sorcerers and adulterers and liars. I will speak against those who cheat employees of their wages, who oppress widows and orphans, or who deprive the foreigners living among you of justice, for these people do not fear me,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies.” Malachi 3:5) (“And we must not engage in sexual immorality as some of them did, causing 23,000 of them to die in one day.” 1 Corinthians 10:8) (“You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.” Ephesians 5:5 NLT) (“And don’t forget Sodom and Gomorrah and their neighboring towns, which were filled with immorality and every kind of sexual perversion. Those cities were destroyed by fire and serve as a warning of the eternal fire of God’s judgment.” Jude 1:7) (““But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshipers, and all liars—their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”” Revelation 21:8)

 10. LIE: I can look as long as I don't touch.

(““You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye —causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand—even your stronger hand —causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” (Matthew 5:27-30 NLT)

(this article is Written by Destiny Nixton during her Sexual Morality Leadership training under the Mentorship of Rufus Elijah Yamoah)