How to Handle Your Sexual Urge

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure”. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Understanding Sexual Urge

Sexual Urge (U.S.) simply means ‘when a person is having feelings, passion or desire to have sex or engage in sexual activity’.

Quick Fact about Sexual Urge

# Sexual urge or feeling is not a sin.

# Sexual urge is a seed deposited in every human by God for pleasure and fulfillment.

Everyone’s sexual urge is not the same because we were all created with different personalities, traits and make-up.

# God did not plant sexual feeling inside of us to enslave us, neither for it to control or remote us to obey its wants.

# If you do not experience sexual urge at all as a person, then you are probably dead and need to be buried! Sexual urge is part of what makes us living and active.

The Power and the Struggle

The cause of every sexual perversion and promiscuity is man’s inability to control is sexual urge.

Youth number one problem and struggle is the struggle to manage their youthful lust (sexual desire).

Every time receive one question, “Mr. Rufus, how can I control my sexual urge?”

It is true that sexual feeling or desire is one of the most powerful emotions in the make-up of humans.

The need for sexual satisfaction has caused millions of young people to involve themselves in all kinds of perversion and wickedness, thereby destroying their lives and destinies.

A lot of people believe that as long as man has sexual feeling, he cannot attain sexual purity or freedom.

This belief system is not true. It is a big lie!

Sexual freedom, purity and victory are not a function of the destruction of sexual feeling; it is the mastering, managing and controlling of your sexual urge.

We walk by faith and not by sight, sense or feelings (2 Corinthians 5:7).

We are led by the Word of God (Psalm 119:105), and not by our emotions (Jeremiah 17:9)

Another popular belief that is causing sexual defeat and damage is that: ‘Sexual feelings are not meant to be controlled, but to be expressed when it comes.’

You must understand and accept it that, sexual expression, satisfaction or fulfillment as a youth or single…is IMMORALITY AND A SIN!

No matter your feeling or urge, it does not give you the legal right or ticket to engage in any sexual activity or pleasure.

Causes of Sexual Urge

There are basically two main sources that influence sexual drive or desire:

1.      Sexual urge is naturally influence by our sexual hormone inside of us called Oxytocin. This is the natural seed deposited in us by God for sexual pleasure.

The kind of sexual feeling can be easily controlled through discipline, self control and purity thinking.

2.      Sexual urge can also be influence by the spirit of lust which is called ‘Satan’s messenger of immorality’. When the spirit of lust comes, it will release an uncontrollable sexual feeling like a fire inside of us to make sure that we engage in sexual activity before it can be quenched or calm down. Sexual feeling that is influence by lust cannot be easily controlled except you battle it with the Word of God and prayer.

The Fuel of Sexual Urge

The reason why many young people and even adults for victim of their sexual urge is because they lack wisdom on how to handle their feeling. Instead of looking for ways to quench, subdue or control their desire, they allow the feeling to develop and give birth to sexual immorality.

Sexual play is the fuel of sexual urge. The Word of God command us not to make provision for the flesh (our human nature) (Read Romans 13:14). Jesus Christ said about Himself that “the devil has found nothing in me".

We fuel or develop our sexual urge by engaging in sexual play like kissing, romancing, sucking of breast or penis, fingering, pecking e.t.c.

This is serious mistake.

We cannot play around sex. We cannot underestimate the power of sexual urge. There is no self confidence when it comes to sexual activity. We are warned to flee!!!

Proven Ways to Handle your Sexual Urge

1.      Change your thinking. Renew your mind. Stop immoral thinking. Start practicing what I called ‘purity thinking’. This can take place as you meditate of the Word of God which is a purifier and cleanser ( John 15:3)

2.      Use the Blood of Jesus and Name of Jesus to Bind and uproot the spirit of lust attacking and manipulating you.

3.      Ask for the Help of the Holy Spirit. He gives power and grace to overcome and escape.

4.      Fasting and prayer also help to build up your spirit and soul to have strength to combat sexual feelings.

5.      Get yourself into doing something worthwhile with your time. Idleness is the play ground for immoral thinking and lust. (1Timothy 5:13). Avoid loneliness. Engage in positive socialization.

6.      Close every sexual doorway that is causing the sexual urge. E.g. watching of pornography. You need to do away with such practice if you want to manage your feeling successfully.

To your purity and victory

Rufus Yamoah

Sex Morality Counselor